October/November 2011 . .. creative, I know.

FYI - this was started on 19 November ...  will write more for December posts!

Well, in the last month there has been so much going on, i feel like I haven't been able to organize my thoughts.  Every time I think about sitting down to write, i just get overwhelmed with all of the things i SHOULD write about that i end up finding something else to do.  no good for a consistent blog.

Brady - Cowboy, Gavin - Train Engineer, Aidan-Veterinarian

What's been happening? Well the boys had their first trick-or-treating experiences.  It only took about 3 houses for them to "get" what the point was and then they were DOWN with trick-or-treating for about another 3 houses before they kind of got worn out and were asking to go home. We went with a group of friends around the compound, and so while their candy bag just had one layer of candy on the bottom, it was more candy than they had EVER seen all in one place.  We still have the bags on the counter, and occasionally they will ask for a piece of it, but since they are getting lots of treat from POTTY TRAINING (well, two are) they aren't quite as focused on the halloween candy.  Brady was asking for about a week after Halloween if he could go trick or treating on Halloween again.  It was kind of funny to see the look on his face when we said, "Sure, in a year!".

Speaking of Potty Training - 2/3 of the boys are well on their way to being fully potty trained.  For the first saturday of the Eid break (now 2 and a half weeks) Curt took Brady and Gavin for a morning out and I did the Potty Party with Aidan (rec'd by friends).  The short version is we had pics of some favorite characters in the bathroom, some fun games/toys/treats as prizes, a doll he could "teach" to pee and poop (whom he named Baby Logan), new underwear and the Pullups Do The Potty Dance on YouTube until i can sing this song backwards.  He and Brady had been asking to pee in the potty for about 4 or 5 days before this, but he seemed to be the driest the most often in his diaper.  While I was getting a little sick of going to the bathroom every 10-15 minutes, it was really fun to have the one on one time with him.  I feel like I got to know him even better and understand him more.  By the time Brady and Gavin got home, Aidan was now in underwear and Brady freaked.  Then Brady saw he could get a Thomas Train if he pooped in the potty (something Aidan hadn't done yet) and determination took over.  He tried to poop at least 2 times before nap (even though he had already gone for the day while they were out) and finally nearly forced his lower intestines out after nap and was the first to get a Thomas Train before he was wearing underwear.  Amazing.  He was SOOOOO upset Aidan had a potty chart and stickers (read: attention) that Curt and I decided we needed to do another Potty Party for him the next day.  Now, we had never been around a newly potty trained kid (read: not ACTUALLY potty trained yet), so when we realized he hadn't pooped in nearly 48 hours, and had several wetting accidents that morning, we realized sending Curt out with Gavin and Aidan would have ben a death march for someone. So for Brady's potty party, we spent the ENTIRE MORNING in our bedroom.  While large, it was challenging at best.  Now, I know Curt had a hell of a time of it occupying the other two downstairs and working with Aidan and his new skill, but keeping the same level of enthusiasm and creativity in 1/8 of the space and no new scenery was TOUGH.  As with Aidan, it was quite fun to spend the time with Brady (he named the baby Baby Einstein) and get to know him even better as well.  I will say, after giving all of that one on one time, i do feel bad the boys don't get as much individual time as they deserve. HOWEVER, any time we do try to take just one any where, the other two throw a FIT and it ends up being a family trip, or no one goes.  anywho . . .. With the Potty Training, I"m happy to report that 2 and a half weeks in, we MOSTLY have days with NO accidents, and both Aidan and Brady are becoming more comfortable pooping right on the potty.  We still have treats and prizes, but they are dwindling.  We just got some bigger underwear for Gavin, but he still really isn't at the place A&B were when we decided to train them.  I think he will be soon, as his interest in just sitting on the potty has returned after an unfortunate poop on the floor incident before a bath one day.  He didn't get in trouble or anything, but I think he knew I wasn't overjoyed about it either. :)

Other things the boys have been up to - a few weeks ago when we were asked to play "Monster" for the umpteenth time, Aidan suddenly decides to be a monster himself.  He runs up to Brady, pulls up his shirt and gives him a super loud ZERBERT! (or raspberry)  He thinks he is just the funniest thing and begins doing it to Gavin, curt and I, eventually a waitress in a restaurant, etc.  And of course he loves his title of Zerbert-Monster.

Dad plays Monster with Gavin

The other day, when it was time to pick the boys up from school, they are helping clean up toys on a table.  A&B are happy to see me and pretty much quit cleaning things up once I arrive.  Gavin says hello, but goes back to his task.  His teacher, Mrs. Arife says "let me help you put these pegs away" and pushes a few through the peg board.  Gavin LOSES it.  We try to give him another peg board with more in it, to just get him to leave with me, to just let him put the remaining pegs away on his board - NOTHIN'.  I pick him up once and he literally peels himself off of me and crawls on the floor back to the table.  A&B have sunglasses and backpacks on and are READY to go, especially after Brady had tried to poop on the potty but wasn't successful.  Calculating this situation, and the 20 minute drive home, the possibility of a newly potty trained boy who may actually need to go #2, I put Gavin's little backpack on myself, pick him up and tell A&B to follow me and make a beeline for our car holding on to a crying, kicking, writhing 36lb+ child who is SCREAMING "STAY AT SCHOOL! I WANT TO STAY AT SCHOOL!  NO GO HOME!".  Gavin had to be wrestled into his car seat - twice.  the first time he crawled out of the car and onto the sidewalk and started walking back toward the entrance.  i finally buckled his legs in so he couldn't go anywhere and then was able to corral his arms.  A&B are in shock and pretty much sit there in silence watching the escapades.  Gavin screams and cries about wanting to go to school the entire 20 minute ride home.  Normally, you can't get a word in edgewise with Brady sharing about the day, but other than a few repeats of my "Gavin, school is closed now." he is silent.  we get home and I leave the car on and take A&B inside leaving Gavin a few minutes to cool off. I go back out to get him and while he is still crying, he has stopped screaming and kicking.  He is still saying he wants to go to school.  When we get inside, I just pick him up and he literally MELTS into my arms and goes completely quiet and still.  Ordinarily by this time, I would have the boys pottied, changed into pullups, Gavin's diaper changed and we would be reading a book before nap.  I decide not to fight it, plop on the couch with G stuck to me (which felt wonderful, even though his insanity was exhausting moments before) and we all watch a little cartoon about bumblebees for 10 minutes.  Everyone recovered and we had some REALLY good naps.  It's tiring experiencing a fit like that - for everyone!  It really was a difficult thing to not say "YOU ARE BEING RIDICULOUS!" because of course it's a WONDERFUL thing he likes school so much now, especially because i fear that this love of learning will be sucked out of him, like it is for some many of us, one day.

Sweet Gavin and his trains

I recently finished "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys" and it raised so many things for me, especially as I was reading it after the Penn State scandal erupted.  It is amazing to think of how many messages we send to kids(and adults) about what's OK for men and boys to be, and how that can limit them in ways that really don't work in order for people to feel whole and accepted.  This book makes me hopeful that Curt and I can work towards helping them become well adjusted, happy, emotional adults; and fearful of what their middle and high school experiences will be like.  I think in many ways, if we can work to help them have good sibling relationships with one another, they will already be better off having brothers who will defend them and support them in the face of teasing and bullying, but of course, you just never know.

Brady told us he was a "One Man Band" - awesome.

Gavin races down the bridge (new favorite activity for our walks!)

Aidan rides Johanna's bike with Alexandra's helmet. Always prepared!

Curt and I have been having a few more date nights out what with the film festival, our anniversary, etc.  The boys asked us at dinner one night before we were going if they could go on a date with us "next time".  It was so cute.  So we have started calling our dinners out "Family Dates", and they have  begun using that terminology as well.  Brady asked the other day if we could have a date at the playground with the green and yellow slides (i.e. the indoor playground at the local Chili's).  Adorable, and when we said yes, it was like we had offered them a new car or train . . .

QB Aidan - "Are you ready for this?!"

Gavin rides Cecil the Camel

For Curt's birthday this year, I actually made him a cake (Red Velvet thank you very much.  but it was dry :( ) and he and i went camping at a local beach overnight with a couple of friends (without the boys). While I'm still interested in trying to take the boys camping, I also agree that it would be a MUCH more exhausting prospect.  To be honest, they had fun with Tess and Aryana and Curt and I had fun with some adult friends. It felt like we were gone the entire weekend instead of about 15 hours. Crazy how it works like that. We had a nice big fire and roasted hotdogs and had some adult beverages. We did have some neighbors that were having a dance party until after 2 AM, and then were up with Lady Gaga at 6 AM, but somehow felt as rested, if not more so, than we are after a night in our own lumpy bed. Hearing the waves (once the idiots quit riding their dune buggies up and down the beach and the guy turned off his generator for his RV) and seeing the nearly full moon and just sleeping in the fresh air just have been just what the dr. ordered.

They immediately grabbed our backpacks when we got home from camping (G&A)

We took the boys to the beach for another weekend in November.  Surprisingly, things had cooled off enough by mid-November that the water was a bit too chilly for us to really get in. Not a few weeks before it was PLENTY hot and the water was refreshing, but now it was basically a play in the sand day, which was also quite fun. I tell you what, though, if we thought this was cold water, we are going to have a ROUGH go of it when we move back next year . . .

Sandy Monkeys (GAB)

Me and my boys - AGB

We could barely keep them out of the hole we dug - Aidan liked being buried. (GBA)

Home again, home again, jiggity jig (GAB)

Aidan pretending to sleep

Brady likes to wear his glasses upside down

Gavin chillin' . . .

Pictures are worth 1000 words . . .

OK, OK, I promise I will write something on the blog in the next few days - but I wanted to get some pics up in the meantime . . .  It's been a busy and fun month!

Gavin finally likes his fez from Morocco, when it doesn't fit anymore!

Nothing like a little dress up to get the day going (A&G)

seriously - look at gavin's back muscles!

a little tickle fight does a body good . . . (A&B)

Boy band in the making - they love 311's "Amber" and Train's "Soul Sister" (A&B)

He LOVES his guitar (A)

Brady asked me to take a picture of his sad face. :)

Approximately 1 minute later.

Gavin wanted me to take a picture of HIS sad face.

Aidan digs the Y-bike

PIT STOP!  They were playing like Cars and coming in for pit stops.  too cute (AGB)

Brady decided to lick Gavin's shirt.  maybe it made him go faster?

Tea Partay! (BAG)

Aidan figured out how to sort of use the pedals on Alexandra's old bike.  He rode all over the park that night! (AB)

Brady kept asking me to take a picture of him crying (when he went to his Arabic class), but he couldn't keep a sad face

Aidan the carnivore

Aidan LOVES his stickers.

Oh my goodness, they are just beautiful (GBA)

No snow?  No problem! (G)

B & G swing!

G climbs - such a cutie!

Cardinals are #1!

Carving our first pumpkin! (GAB)

B&A sang songs from the wiggles, G wanted nothing to do with the mess

Our own "Night at the Roxbury" (B&A)

Brady wanted me to take a pic of him "Sleeping" - G looks on - on our way to B-day/Costume party!

Aidan was able to keep his eyes closed as he pretends to "sleep"

Our friendly pumpkin Jack! (BGA)

Aidan pushed his bed over to Brady's during nap one day.  How sweet  .. . (ABG)

School Daze

Well, after exactly 4 days of pre-school, i feel like i have no idea how the boys (save Aidan) really feel about school.  The first day, no one cried when i left, but they did look stunned and a little sad.  Day 2 - no one cried, but Gavin was like a Cling-on Monkey before I left and then gave his "sad face" look until i closed the door.  Day 3 - Aidan BAWLS as I am leaving (after staying an extra 10 minutes or so b/c he wants to sit on my lap during circle time). So much so that they called the nurse to check him for fever/illness because he was so (according to note) "not like himself" for the rest of the morning.  Day 4, began language class and while no tears, it was only after staying for the full language class (which i'm not so sure about) and their regular teacher  beginning circle time and songs that I was able to give kisses and promises to pick up after lunch and only got Gavin's sad face until he could no longer ignore the Wheels on the Bus song in progress. :)

Gavin spots me!

Well, this weekend, while making breakfast Aidan was in the kitchen with me - probably to get protection from his brother after getting whacked on the head with a car - Aidan says to me "Mom, I'm not happy at school."  I ask him to repeat it, and he does and then I ask him "Why aren't you happy at school?" and he says "Because I miss you."  well, I just about pulled him out of school then and there.  not really, but it was very sweet.  Especially b/c one day I know he will be MORTIFIED to admit he has a mother and will probably stop giving public hugs and kisses.  The thing is when I come and pick them up, they are usually yucking it up and appear to be having a ball at school.  While Brady is the reporter (no surprise there) with who was crying b/c they missed their mommy, who pooped on the floor and had to clean it up (true story - day 4), etc. Aidan and Gavin both talk about school and songs and teachers in a positive way as well.  Of course, depending on the day/time they have each asked if they can go to school on days when it isn't a school day.  The day school is to happen though, they are NOT down with it . .. so strange.

Day 3 of school (BAG)

I was told after the first day that Aidan was the best helper when it came to cleaning up.  I could have told her that, but I do think school has gotten the other two in gear quite a bit more.  Brady usually starts the song from class and Gavin will kind of sing along as you goad him into picking stuff up.  Aidan on the other hand has a PLAN for clean up and is already half-way through the toys when his brothers finally get around to picking up the first truck. I can't wait to see how these battles manifest themselves in the future.

This weekend, Curt went to Barcelona to see FCB play with FREE VIP TICKETS!  Now, of course it would have been SO MUCH FUN to go with him, but I'm not the one who needed a break.  Hands down, Curt does and I'm so glad he got to go.  IT's sunday night as I type this and he's due home in a couple of hours and I COULDN'T BE MORE READY, but I am still very glad he got to go.  Anyway, this weekend was the first time i have been able to get the boys to float without an adult touching them in the pool, EVER.  Jill and Justin kindly agreed to be my adults and with the aid of water wings and a noodle, everyone went hands free for long periods of time on Friday - AWESOME!  Gavin was probably the LEAST willing to let go of my hands to float and he spent the last half hour floating around int he deep end by himself just chilling and checking the world out (again, no surprise there).  Today when Tess came in, I took each of them individually to swim at the pool to reinforce this.  It was really great to get some one on one time and to see how each of them is SO different.

Aidan liked putting on my pants. 

Aidan pretty much jumped in and was IMMEDIATELY happy to be floating again.  He didn't even try to hang on to me and at one point, he was jumping from the top step of the ladder onto the noodle without me in front to catch him.  But he didn't really want to "go" any where.  Brady on the other hand immediately began trying to deflect and distract by talking me up as we were getting in the water.  This will be his MO.  When I FINALLY got him in (a time limit for us being there together worked) he would NOT let go of my hands(and he demanded the shallow end), so I drug him around the pool a bit and then took away one thumb for him to hold and then the other (even crossing into the deep end).  He immediately started laughing and then decided to kick his way ALL OVER the pool.  Literally, we probably did 4 laps all around the pool - the kid can kick.  (I think some of it are his feet - Aidan's are much smaller and more narrow).  Brady would NOT jump off of the ladder to his noodle, but he would sit on the ladder and hold the noodle pretty close and slide into the water.  baby steps. Gavin was willing to jump in to me but was like a MONKEY on my front.  I had to basically slip the noodle in between us and then remind him that my hand was holding his hand on the noodle for him to let go of my neck.  I did the same let go of one thumb, let go of the other, but he was still working to hold on to me as much as he could.  He finally relaxed and was happy tooling around the pool, but his kicks were getting him nowhere (really, have you seen his clodhoppers and his legs?!).  I mentioned how Aidan had jumped into his noodle from the top step of the ladder and Gavin was game for jumping in - FROM THE SIDE.  The kid does his FLYING LEAP into his noodle twice.  I think the sheer force of the jump and the subsequent quick dunk under water was enough for him, but he laughed the entire time.  I taught some doggy paddles with arms and we did some bubbles.  I"m really glad I could reinforce the stuff form the weekend.  Reason #437 to stay home (especially since we can't get them in swim lessons until January at the earliest! boo!)

Aidan asked me if I wanted to take a picture of them eating their popsicles.  too funny . . . (BAG)

While it was LOADS of fun to do this with them, it's pretty tiring for me (running back and forth to the house, getting people to stop crying b/c i'm leaving, the multiple showers, etc) and i was getting BAKED in the sun here.  I'm guessing this will be just once a week or so that I try to do this on my own with them.  Otherwise I will look like a leather handbag by the end of the season.  no thanks.

HAPPY THIRD BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday boys! (GAB)

I can hardly believe how quickly the time has passed since my darling boys were born.  I’ve said it before, but having kids really is like holding up a mirror to yourself – you see the good and the bad and you can only hope to guide them away from the less desirable parts of yourself and to more fully live the good parts of yourself.

A little about the boys as they turn three years old.

Aidan James - now that's one HANDSOME man . ..

Aidan: You are such an easy-going, happy kid.  You are definitely our practical joker. You think it’s funny to sneak food off of our plates when we aren’t paying attention, to offer us something and then quickly take it back, to hide a car/truck under something and then act like you can’t find it.  You still LOVE carrying things around – as many as you possibly can.  You LOVE playing guitars – I can see that you could become a musician one day.   Thanks to lots of loving people in your life, we have gotten a lot of instruments for your birthday!  You are a GOOOOD eater – like crazy good.  You eat just about anything we serve and you often have second and third portions.  I have NO IDEA where you put it.  You have developed a weird thing about the seams in your socks – it can take 5 minutes to put one shoe on, but you are still by far our accessorized child – you love wearing your sunglasses, shoes, etc.  You are loving and funny and have some of the BEST facial expressions.  You are often the first to throw yourself into a new situation, and you genuinely love trying new things.  You have started saying that you are “a MAN” and when you wear a button down shirt a “HANDsome man”.  You have also really become interested in feelings and why people feel different ways. You seem to be able to go from playing on your own to playing with one or both of your brothers very easily.  While you may not always seem to be our most coordinated child, you do seem to enjoy physical challenges.  You love showing affection for others, especially animals.  I can still see you putting your arm around Gunther (The Carroll’s dog) this summer and saying softly to him “I love you Gunther".

Brady Allen - look at that smile - if only you could have heard his laughter too!

Brady: You are gregarious by nature, even though you are our most cautious child.  You may take your time to check out a new situation, but you absolutely LOVE interacting with new people and learning new things.  You put things together that I would never have thought about (like when I changed lanes this morning on the way to school and you asked me where the “other lane went”).  You are probably our most expressive child – both in your joy and sorrow, but you are also our most verbal child right now and you can talk about what made you happy or sad (or angry) and have already developed the ability to reason out what you can do differently if a situation happens to you again.  You are the most sensitive to discipline, so you have challenged me to find the best way to guide you when you do things like throw trucks or play too rough with your brothers.  You also let me know when you think I’m overreacting (how many times have you told me not to get mad?). I may not always agree with you, but you are good at making me check myself.  You have a delightful laugh that comes from deep in your soul and once you are comfortable in a situation, you are the spokesman of the group.  I can see this being a strength of your personality that may show up in your choice of work in the future. You like to try new things, but you must do it in your own sweet time.   You have been sleeping in a big boy bed for 3 months now, but you have begun asking about your crib.  This is just one example of you needing things to happen on your schedule.  I love that you still long for your crib, even though you are so big now.  Sometimes I long for the days when you and your brothers were in cribs (and not just b/c you can’t get out of bed!) - you are growing up too fast.

Gavin Dean - loves when his brothers wrestle with him!  And he is our Ferdinand the Bull child . . . (GA)

Gavin: You are probably the most outgoing in a new situation (like this summer when you greeted all 30 rows on the airplane as we boarded with a sweet “HELLO!” as though you had no idea someone would be sitting there), you are the most gentle, even though you are a physical POWERHOUSE and you play the most independently.  Your verbal skills have grown by leaps and bounds in the last few months.  You LOVE music.  You can memorize songs and melodies so quickly that it constantly surprises me.  You have become our most picky eater, but you are still our breakfast man.  I think your discovery of pork sausage this summer cemented that status for you. J  You have developed the MOST adorable sad face (bottom lip stuck all the way out and rubbing your eyes) when you haven’t gotten your way, or are sad about something just before you might cry.  Sometimes it’s a “fake” sad and you are working to see our reaction, other times you need the sweetest deepest snuggle we can provide. While you could play by yourself for hours, you absolutely LOVE your brothers and you giggles are infectious.  You want to know HOW things work-I could see you being someone who will create things one day. You still love reading and letters and numbers and colors. You also enjoy coloring so intensely – your scribbling is interesting, but I can’t wait until it becomes pictures to convey the things that you think about. You too are interested in why people feel a certain way – especially if it’s sad- and you have become the reciter in our family, sharing what happened in an earlier situation, over and over again. J

Working at the carwash, yeah . . ..  (GAB)

Gavin checks out the violin/guitar from grandma and grandpaV . . . awesome!

 At age 3, your stats are as follows:

Aidan – 36 inches high, 30 pounds, size 8.5 XW shoes

Brady – 37.5 inches high, 34 pounds, size 10 XW shoes (but somehow your feet aren’t as big as Gavin’s)

Gavin – ALMOST 37.5 inches high, 37 pounds, size 10 XW shoes

Curt and I were talking the other night and he mentioned that he couldn’t remember who walked last (for the record the order was Gavin, Brady, then Aidan for walking; for sitting up it was Gavin, Aidan, Brady and for crawling/getting around it was Aidan, Gavin Brady.  I have sort of a sick memory for that kind of stuff, but don’t ask me anything about bands and the songs they sing).  It amazed us both how quickly the time has passed but also how hard it is to remember all of these things that were so monumental in our lives at the time.  I only hope I have been able to document and remember all of these things that in the day to day are so important, but over the weeks and months are just blips on the screen.  They make up such interesting parts of each of the boys personalities (and how we respond to them), and yet they are fleeting.

Daddy's finally here! (GAB)

Can't get enough snuggles (A)

 A few funny stories:

Aidan REALLY loved his birthday gifts and celebrations this year.  I think he finally figured out that not everything he played with this summer was coming back with us, so as he would get a new toy from someone he would turn to me and say “Mom, can I bring this to Doha?”  He has also begun asking that at other people’s houses, luckily he takes no for an answer as he giggles – like he figured he may as well ask just in case I said yes. J During his b-day celebration in Iowa, I had given him a piece of red licorice off of his b-day cake and as he is chewing it he says to me “mom, what am I eating?” and I said “your b-day cake” and he chews for a little bit more and then says “no, what’s in my mouth?” so I tell him licorice.  It was clear he wanted to know what it was so he could ask for it in the future. J

Good thing Sadie is patient - the boys LOVED that she caught the water from their water guns! (GAB)

Oh, we know what to do with this! (Aidan blew all 3 candles out before his brothers were even at the table!) (BGA)

Aidan helps grandma V read about the Pirates ABCs

3 little pirates - and yes they all climbed up with minimal help. (ABG)

Car washing is fun on all levels (BGA)

Brady JUMPS!

While at my sister’s just before we came back to Doha, Brady was sitting on the couch with Aunt Pam and he says to me “Mom, I’m jealous when I take my socks off.” I realize he was referring to our book about feelings where we talk about being jealous and frustrated and the last time I had read it to them, I had asked them to think about times they felt each.  I said “You mean, you get frustrated when you take your socks off?” and he was like “yeah. I’m frustrated when I take my socks off”.  It still makes me laugh to myself. Brady also finally lost some of his fear around jumping to us when we are swimming.  He is now FULL ON JUMPING out to us and getting some major height when he jumps.  It is crazy how it went from him wanting to hold our hands when he “jumped” to looking like a cannonball . . ..

Gavin KICKS!

focus . . . I am SPEED (G)

 Gavin has begun taking his jumping to new heights, literally.  In Iowa, he began jumping off of a 3 foot high retaining wall in the back yard.  Since he was landing on grass and seemed to be OK as he went to higher and higher parts of the wall, I didn’t bother to stop him.  Apparently, when he was on the stairs (he also liked throwing things down to then go get and bring back up to throw down the stairs again) Grandpa K was watching him and had seen him jump from the 2^nd step up – something he has been doing since he was about 2 ½ at home.  Grandpa K says he looks and sees that Gavin is about SEVEN steps from the bottom and just JUMPS, landing on his head on the bottom step and giving himself rug burn on his forehead.  And he didn’t even cry.  He also has perfected the swan dive when he jumps off of the side of the pool.  It is amazing.

The boys LOVED chasing grandma and grandpa Ks cars when they would leave for work.  adorable (GB)